101 Tips to Parenting
By Elena Shella Tejada Villamor
Any couple who believes that parenting a child is a bed of roses ought to think thrice. From birth up until the child "leaves the nest", so to speak, parents have the primary responsibility of rearing and nurturing that individual. Given this enormous duty, parents need all the help that they could get to be able to reach the finish line. Here are some tips from parents who share the same obligation:
THE EARLY MONTHS OF INFANCY
Never turn away help that is offered by friends or relatives; more so by in-laws who are not there to meddle but just to give a much-needed assistance.
Always look a child in the eye while nursing him (it doesn't matter if you breastfeed or bottle feed); you are establishing a lifetime bond by doing this.
Learn to play with your child and cherish every moment for they are fleeting.
Keep a memento of memories that would last a lifetime such as a video or a journal account of his first smile, his first tooth, his first step, etc.
Talk to your child even if all you get is an innocent stare.
A child is God's gift so nurture and nourish it with all that you've got.
TERRIBLE TWOS ARE NOT SO TERRIBLE AFTER ALL
Discipline a child out of love. Spanking is the exact opposite of love-it instills fear so never implement it in your home.
Be generous with your hugs and kisses. These gestures mean one and only one thing-that you love your kid more than anything in the whole world!
Listen to your child even if all you hear is gibberish talk.
Be lavish in praising your child; he would love to behave or finish tasks all because he wants to please you.
You are your child's fortress. Remember that he feels safest when he is in your arms.
Never ignore a crying child (unless he's having a tantrum); this might be his way of expressing pain or frustration.
Remember that Biblical verse where the author said you should "Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old he shall not depart from it"? Follow it.
Never impose on your child that he, too, should behave like "little Sarah" or that he should be as strong as "little Bill"; never compare.
Be ready to give up your "normal" life and start living your universe with your child at the center of it.
Always answer every child's innocent question.
THOSE PRECIOUS SCHOOL YEARS
Always be present during your kid's school programs; this will tremendously decrease juvenile misbehavior in the future.
Sit through every assignment that your child asks help with.
Laugh...and laugh out loud with your kid. Remember what the best medicine is?
Go and seek out adventure. Your child will remember that canoeing event more than you buying something for him at the mall.
Teach your child of spirituality and that Greater Being up there. He will surely pass this on to his posterity.
Support your child on his artistic or sports inclination.
Be sure to put your arm around him when he gets a vaccine shot or when he does not win on a school competition.
Be the proud Mommy or Daddy even if he finished next to last on his class.
Read a bedtime story to stimulate his mind and his imagination.
Be ready to forgive because your child is bent to test your patience!
Remember that kids are the greatest imitators so be watchful of your words and actions.
Never train your child to be a couch potato; TV immobilizes a child's mind as it does to his body.
Being with a kid is all about exaggeration-shout to the whole world how great an artist he is and he'll grow into it.
Set your gauges low and your expectations high; children will definitely make mistakes but that doesn't mean they will not learn from them.
Release the kid in you once in a while; don't be afraid to play with dirt and to bathe under the rain.
Encourage your little one to dream and dream BIG! His imagination would surely take him to great heights that you have never even deemed possible.
Never turn away a child when he is asking even the silliest questions-remember to give your undivided attention at all times.
Even if you think your child is already asleep, don't forget to plant that goodnight kiss on his cheek.
A child's love is unconditional so it's best to return it with equal fervor.
Children can teach us more about life so be ready to pay attention.
Let a child remember that there would be times when you would not agree with some of his behaviors but you would love him always.
Your child is not your property, so never try to control them.
A child who never learned to obey his parents at home will never listen to any kind of authority outside of home.
THOSE DANGEROUS YEARS CALLED PUBERTY
Every parent will survive his child's teenage years, the question is, will this particular youth survive these years? Be there for your child every step of the way.
Accept that puberty could be the first step to your child's ultimate independence. Do not fear being separated from your "little John" because he's not so little anymore.
Bank on the thought that you instilled good morals into your kid so learn to trust your teenage child's decision.
Make room for improvement-everything doesn't have to be decided by you now. Your teenager has a mind of his own, believe it or not.
Sex education should be heard from Mommy and Daddy not just from the school teacher. Sexual orientation and attraction is a normal part of your life so it automatically is a part of your teenager's life as well.
Don't stop becoming a parent as well as a friend; any teenager would appreciate a "cool Mom".
Learn the "in" or "hip" things with your teenager so you don't get left out.
To deter teenage depression, the rule is simple-just BE THERE for your kid.
Know when and when not to hover. Teenagers appreciate privacy once in a while.
If your teenager is on a new diet or exercise routine, don't just walk him through the benefits of this new regimen, JOIN him, too!
Try some new looks with your teenager. As long as the look isn't taboo, go for it!
Tell your teenager that everything will pass and so will acne.
Teenage life is all about flair and drama-be prepared for them. Just be the gentle and unimposing director from behind the curtain.
Go out as a family. In order to eliminate the dangers of feeling alone, let your teenager feel that you will always be there for him-through good times, more so on bad times.
It doesn't matter if you're an early or late bloomer; or a steady or fast developer. At the end of the road, we're all just human beings at this race called life.
Treat your teenager like an adult lest he starts wailing and starts acting like a baby.
When your kid starts asking questions that have pertinent answers, then you'd know that he has grown.
Be prepared to be hated by your child at some point in time-it's normal.
THE TEENAGE DRAMA QUEEN
A late bloomer is not a wallflower.
Bees will always come to the flower so tell your sweet teenage girl that she can wait and as the saying goes-good things come to those who wait.
Paint nails together and go to the parlor, spa or even the mall. Relaxing together is also a good way of bonding.
Talk about boys-after all, what do girls want to talk about?
Daddy should have some time with his teenage girl as well. A night out with Dad is one great way to stay close with the old man.
Allow her to dance, sing her heart out, and to wear shorts-she's a teenager not a nun!
YOUR IMPATIENT YOUNG MAN
Boys night out should not only be applicable to Dad's closest buddies but more so to his teenage son.
Never embarrass your teenager in front of his favored girl.
Brace yourself for errors in decision-making and many other things (you did, too, when you were younger). Just be there to catch him when he falls.
Educate yourself on the latest bands, gadgets and games-he will greatly appreciate it.
Talk to your young man about sex and the responsibilities involved in engaging on such an intimate act.
PARENTING IN GENERAL
A real great parent loves all children and all that are about children. The parent is, after all, Heaven's caretaker of God's children on earth.
For as long as the minds and hearts of your children are tender, do all you can to teach them the values that they would need when they grow up. Remember, it's hard to teach old dogs new tricks!
Making children happy is not spoiling them. A happy, joyful home rears up individuals who are compassionate and confident. Do not fear to bank on happiness; spoiling means giving anything in excess and there can never be any excess when it comes to happiness.
The best way to give your kid, even an unsolicited advice, is to know what he desires then gently urge him to do it.
Talk less, listen more-this age old advice still remains true even for today's parents.
Be more of an example and lessen your preaching-remember that kids are visual creatures.
Your presents will never compensate for your presence.
Don't be afraid to show vulnerability; go down on your knees and ask God in humble prayer for everything that your family needs.
Maternal care in the animal world is all about rearing and letting go of the offspring into the world. Maternal care among humans is all this plus being amenable to welcome the child back if he needs to come home.
The life of a child is a fresh canvass that the parent can begin to paint on trusting that it would turn out to be a masterpiece.
Each child is a future father, mother or leader so be careful what you feed into these young minds. The future of the world rests on your hands.
Make an indelible mark in your child's life by making him become what the Creator designed him to be.
Your child will inevitably become what you currently are so be the best that you can be.
Your child isn't perfect; strive instead to perfect your relationship with this child.
Remember that a child would not only want to hear that you love him; he is more desperate to feel that you do love him.
Let your kid see that you do random acts of kindness, he would surely follow suit.
Success in your chosen career will never, ever compensate for failure in your home.
If you're rich, share your wealth with others; if you have but little, give from your heart.
Body language is more important than any verbal statement; so behave accordingly.
Remember when it was said that the world can be changed one person at a time? Well, you can begin with your own child-right NOW.
Never be ashamed to say sorry to your child; a good relationship is founded on mutual respect.
Time well-spent with your children is worth a hundred of presents bought.
If your child speaks fondly of you and looks up to you even in his adulthood, then you can say that you have made a successful job at parenting.
Stop theorizing and start acting; stop being the perfect parent 'coz there isn't one.
Communication is a two-way process, the simple rule is-one talks while the other listens.
Never be afraid to give your child a pat on the back; you'll never know when he needs it the most.
As a parent, don't be too hard on yourself. You can only mold the child's path but his future is still in his own hands.
Your love as a parent should be the greatest and most unconditional love your child will ever receive in his lifetime. Your legacy to your family is more important than your achievements in the society.
As the Biblical saying goes: Respect your father and your mother-this is a commandment, not a proposal.
A parent's love is patient and all-enduring; when the world turns its back on a child, the parent is there to catch him.
Sure, you can't choose your parents, so you might as well live with what you have and make the best out of it!
Being a parent is being on call 24/7; you're a nurse, teacher, friend, and a policeman all at the same time!
Parents are the best set of educators for their child. Even the greatest educational system can never surpass that.
Elena Shella Villamor is a full-time mom of two kids and a wife to a great husband. She currently works as a freelance copywriter/ghost writer and is located in Manila, Philippines. She has attended several secondary schools press conferences and has won several awards in feature writing and editorial. She also served as the Editor-in-Chief of her high school paper. Her head is constantly brimming with great ideas and she has chosen to focus her works on producing blogs on motherhood (and all other aspects of parenting). Please visit her blog at http://www.mothersnook.wordpress.com/
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